Have you ever been tired? What about being tired of just being tired? I know we've all experienced our moments of physical fatigue, but what about spiritual fatigue? What do we do when we have done just about everything?
Can I just be real a moment? Things have been exhausting on my end lately. Turns out the physical strain of the third trimester for our third child, packing one house to remodel and move into another and all the emotions that come along with it can be downright tiring. But there has been so much more to this season than that. Since COVID has swept our nation I have spent more intimate time with the Lord than I have in years. The outside slow down helped me to anchor my soul, and for that I am thankful. However the spiritual battle has been total warfare, and its been such a spiritual full-court-press for an extended amount of time that I would literally collapse on the alter for days if I felt like it would help.
Have you ever been there?
As women within our church and all around the area are looking for direction and encouragement I have found myself needing the same. Now don't get it twisted, I love my position and I love guiding and praying with women (I'm convinced its my sole purpose in life). And while I know that we cannot pour out onto others unless we first allow The Father to pour into us, sometimes you need a little more than that. Are you following me? Well - The Lord let me in on a little secret that has so freed me, and I must share it.
I was praying for a sweet friend who then started to pray over me instead. The power of God started to fall and it was such a strong anointing. She spoke to me and said "I keep hearing Him say Keep Digging. Keep Digging!" Tears filled my eyes as I was so thankful that God would care enough to speak those few words of encouragement to me. And then my thankfulness turned into total apprehension and I said to the Lord "But I'm tired! I'm tired Lord.." Nearly as quickly as I responded to Him, he met me in my fatigue... "Put all your weight on me" He said, as a vision flooded my mind. I saw Jesus standing behind me, I collapsed into him, you know like the trust-falls you have to do in team building? Just like that. I fell back into his arms and He was holding me up. I didn't resist in my vision, I simply let go.
Put all your weight on Him, Friend. That is the secret. That is the antidote to our tired and weary soul. We know the Bible verse "In our weakness He is made strong" but we don't like to be weak. We like to shoulder the responsibility, we like to make the decisions, we like to hold it all together. But it's all a mirage. We can hold nothing together. And when we fight spiritual warfare, and we fill our selves up just to pour ourselves out again, it can be exhausting! Notice though that the Lord didn't discount my feelings? He didn't try to tell me that I wasn't tired, or tell me to have more faith and suck it up. Nope. He simply said "put all your weight on me".
So that is what I vow to do. And in fact - I think we should decide to do that together, are you in? Let's prove his strength by admitting and allowing ourselves to be weak. It's easy to say it, but let's actually do it.
What does that look like? Good Question. For me it looks like taking even the little things to the Lord that I think I should be able to figure out on my own. It's reminding myself that God is not too busy or too annoyed by my desire for His direction. Really sometimes it will even look like me taking the confidence I have in the wisdom I've asked him for and committing to move forward in areas I've been given the green light, and to trust the red lights in other areas. It looks like remembering that I've been called for such a time as this, and therefore I have the ability through Christ to face these obstacles, and overcome them. Bust mostly, it looks like Trust. Trust in his word. Trust in what he said. Trust in his ability to do it. And trust in his timing.