Never an Afterthought

I am the daughter of a preacher, a long line of preachers in fact. I have three sisters and a wonderful God-fearing mother. I grew up in a small country church where Women preachers were frowned upon. I attended a special service to listen to missionaries (For the first time in my entire life) when I was around 17/18. The church I traveled to with my Mom and Dad seemed tucked away in hills and back a country road. During the service as the woman missionary spoke I felt a quickening within me. I had no idea what was happening, and excused myself to the restroom. My mother followed me concerned and asked what was the matter. I tried to explain the feeling that seemed to overtake me as she spoke. I told her I could hardly hear the woman over the pounding of my heart. My mother seemed to giggle at my innocence and told me the Lord was speaking to me. After the service the woman missionary made a bee-line to my seat. She told me the Lord had a message for me and I apologized to her for not hearing her message as my heart was beating so fast it was all I could hear.

As she delivered the message to me from the Lord, about my calling and my gifts I pulled back from her and said "You must be confused, My dad is the gifted Minister of God, not me... I am just a girl.."

... Just A Girl....

The message that she spoke to me echoed in my spirit for years. It wasn't that my parents failed to encourage me and therefore I doubted my potential in the kingdom, it was that I was listening thru ears that were filled with the lies of the enemy. Growing up I had felt that God must have somehow made a mistake by giving my parents 4 girls.. Who would carry on the legacy of "anointed preacher" ?Who would go to lay hands on the sick when my papaw and father passed?

When I gave my life to the Lord as a young adult and developed a relationship with the Father I felt him pull me into ministry. He gave me sermons as I studied the Word and I journaled them. Journal after Journal... I tucked the messages away, holding onto the many verses in the New Testament that tell us that God will pour himself out on the sons and daughters, and that there is neither male nor female ...  I held onto that bit of hope that maybe I was a daughter on purpose. Maybe God designed me to be a girl on purpose... Maybe, just maybe, I could carry His gospel, preach to the darkness, call down fire from heaven... just as many of the Males in our bloodline had done for generations before.

Read with me this paragraph in "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere ...

"When I discovered and celebrated my feminine creation, I realized I was not an afterthought. As a daughter, wife and mother, I was an answer, If I was an answer, then it was only logical that the sisters who surrounded my life were answers as well. We are not secondary citizens in the eyes of God. You, lovely one, have the potential to be a living, breathing, solution to human problems. "

I believe it is important for Gods sons and his daughters to realize that they weren't an afterthought. That their gender was not a mistake. And the very calling that God has for you, is delicately tied to your female or male position within the kingdom. I have this image in my spirit that I wish I could paint. I can see the father bending over a work table etching a beautiful baby. As he carves every part of the body he declares gifts, calling and promises. Each of us are so purposefully knit together that there is not a chance that they Father made a mistake with our calling or creation.

There are certain people I am called to minister to and reach, just as there are certain people in your very path that God has designed for you to contact and minister to using your gifts. I challenge you to have that intimate conversation with the Father, allow yourself to see your beauty and uniqueness through His eyes. Pray that the Father let you see others through His eyes of compassion and mercy. Ask that He be clear with you about His calling and purpose for your life, because I assure you - He created you with a purpose, and trust me - you will feel empty until you walk in it. And last but not least, clear your head of the lies of the enemy so that you can effectively hear the fathers voice. 

Originally written May 22, 2017

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