“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted my petition made to Him. Therefore I have given him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is given to the Lord. And they worshiped the Lord there.”
1 Samuel 1:27-28 AMPC
I still remember the day I prayed for the things I have now. Just as the above bible verse indicates there was a time that I prayed earnestly to the lord for children. Doctor visit after doctor visit, injections, surgery, medication and specialist visits all pointed to the need for more medical intervention before we’d be able to conceive a child. I was heartbroken, as I knew the emotional roller coaster and looming debt that tends to come with these types of fertility journeys. But my husband remained full of faith. “If we are supposed to have a child, the lord will give us one. We will wait on Him. The doctors don’t have the final say”
Looking back now I beam with joy remembering his stance on the matter, but then all I could think about was how the odds were against us. But God.
God blessed us with a daughter and she turned our world upside down. Her smile melted the room and we moved mountains on her behalf. We never realized how much a heart can love until she came along. But with this new season of parenthood came rocky roads in our marriage. At times I was convinced we’d never have another child, our relationship was too unstable, I sold all the baby items.
We pressed in, we prayed, we pushed back the plate. I called our marriage strong and mighty in the face of brokenness. I proclaimed my husband to be a warrior of faith when I just wanted to complain. I dug my heels in and touched heaven, desperate for a turn around. Desperate to leave a legacy of restoration for our daughter, not one of brokenness And God came thru, just like he always does.
Love blossomed where hurt used to live And our marriage became new. We loved deeper, we finally became spiritually one. We served in ministry together, sharing about the restoration power of God.
I remember the night God started to poke at my heart in regards to having another baby. Anytime I thought of having another child I remembered the rough season we endured after the birth of our daughter. Y’all, I would cringe! One night I even called my sister and shared with her what the lord was dropping in my heart “I’m crazy, right?” “I told you to slap me if I ever thought of putting my marriage thru this again, remember? Time to get to slappin’!” My sister would laugh and remind me how far my husband and I had come. She encouraged my to talk with my husband about it. To my surprise, when I followed her advice he was excited at the thought of adding to our family. I shared my fears with him. Fears of driving down the same broken path yet again. “It’ll be different this time” he reassured me. And he was right.
I clung to God and reminded him (as if His memory is failing - hah. Y’all I was reminding myself..) of His word and His promise. I said lord- I trust you. If you have a purpose for another child in our family I know you’ll give us the grace to raise another in your timing. Eleven short months later we welcomed a baby boy to our family and our world was complete.
Today we dedciated him to the Lord and stood in His church as a redeemed, free and whole family. I feel like if my life had a book it would truly be called “From Busted to Blessed” as He’s redeemed my once addicted flesh, restored my marriage, blessed my womb, and brought to life dreams and passions I thought were well hidden in my heart. God has been my everything, and it only makes since that the Blessing He gave us, we give back to Him to use for His glory.
So my beautiful friend- whatever situation your facing that looks busted, give it to God. Speak words of life, blessing and growth over it. Watch wait with expectation, as God loves to bless His kids.
Until next time,
disclaimer - in no way am I shaming thise who choose fertility assistance for their pregnancy journey. This simply wasn’t in the cards for us financially and my husband felt strongly that god was going to bless us despite the doctors orders. Being in agreement in your marriage is essential, when you recieve your direction from the lord about your medical treatment there’s not a soul on earth that can tell you you’ve done the wrong thing.